Tuesday, December 22, 2009

An Open Letter To “Progressives”

Does any of this sound familiar:

Corporations are evil, man. They, like, feed off the greed of capitalism, dude. Capitalism is a system of greed, and it’s, like, totally a symptom of the materialism of western culture”?

Of course it does. It’s the motto of the Left. It’s practically the official slogan of the “grassroots” arm of the Democrat National Committee. Not the Democrats in office, mind you. They are actually all very wealthy. No, this is the slogan of all of those, uh, youthful voters who elected them. And it is to those young “progressives” (whatever that means) that I address this letter.

So, young “progressives” (?) what has your beloved party done lately? Well, how about the Wall Street Bailouts, for obvious starters. The supposed heroes of the proletariat have used public money to protect various corporations in the finance and auto industries (among others) from the consequences of their own “greed”. You could call it Corporate Welfare, if you want. The President is hard at work protecting the CEOs and the bad corporations from bankruptcy. Not to worry, Lefties, those evil corporations you so hate will still be here to sell you their evil products after you get a job and go on your wild shopping spree, and all thanks to the good folks in Congress and the White House whom you very excitedly helped to elect.

And how about that western culture of consumption which you so despise? Normally, as we all know, economic collapse following a period of wild and greedy spending results in a deflation of wealth and consumption. The heady days of materialism are dealt the harsh blow of responsibility, and that supposed western value so hated by the left deflates, to make way for more responsible savings and introspection. These periods are known as “corrections”, they are ultimately healthy for the market, and they serve as a sobering reminder to all of those "greedy capitalist pigs" that there is more to life than money.

But not to fear, Lefties! If the promises of Pelosi, Obama, and all of the other darlings of your movement pan out, we won’t have to suffer a reduction of consumption. They have it in mind to use trillions of federal dollars to finance “Stimulus Packages”, which will serve to artificially prop up consumption until the economy can get back on its merry old way, and further protect those mean capitalist businessmen from the effects of their greed. They intend to MAINTAIN the pre-crash consumption levels. Remember when George “worst president ever” Bush told us all to “go shopping”? Hurray for consumption!

Let’s just move beyond the fact that not one of these policies makes any real economic sense. The fact remains that these are indeed the policies of your elected leftist officials. So why, I have to ask, are you, the youthful and energetic supporters of “progressive” (seriously, what does that even mean?) politics, still supporting these people? Who do you think you are actually serving? Are you totally blind to the incredible rift between you and your elected elite?

Are you absolutely sure that you haven’t been duped into becoming a part of what Lenin might have called the “useful idiots”?


Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Federal Stimulus Spending Is A Crock

Currently, America is in a period of economic depression stemming from a collapsed housing bubble resulting from an attempt by the Federal Reserve to boost economic growth in the wake of 9/11 (and the “.com bubble”) by drastically reducing its lending rate to flood the market with cheap investment finance. The resultant real estate boom and accompanying economic surge were based more on the oversupply of capital than the presence of any real demand necessary to sustain such growth, and as a result, the economy crashed.

In the aftermath of the crash, the government again stepped in to limit the negative market correction. This time the administration utilized a series of unprecedented “stimulus spending packages” wherein an attempt was made to jump start the economy with a massive infusion of government spending. Let’s just skip past the fact that now, on the cusp of 2010, we can see in hindsight that these spending measures have utterly failed, and that the U.S. economy is still struggling to get back up despite the rude whipping being administered by the administrations, past and present. A simple, albeit boring, economics lesson could have warned us that it would go this badly.

Our miserable politicians have now decided to repeat their own mistakes. Echoing the stupidity of George W. Bush’s idiotic defense of 2008’s massive spending debacle (“I’ve abandoned free-market principles to save the free-market system”), Temporary President Barack Obama recently presaged another round of wasteful “stimulus” spending in 2010, in a speech given at the Brookings Institute on December 8th:

“One of the central goals of this administration is restoring fiscal responsibility. Even as we have had to spend our way out of this recession in the near term, we have begun to make the hard choices necessary to get our country on a more stable fiscal footing in the long run, . . . At this particular moment, only government can provide the short-term boost necessary to lift us from a recession this deep and severe . . .”

Unfortunately for Mr. Obama, and for the rest of us, these statements do not reflect an accurate understanding of economics, and the president knows is. He very candidly said as much in a little publicized recent interview with socialist economist Robert Kuttner, during which he appealed to sympathetic economists to help spin his policies and make them sound somewhat credible:

“. . . we're going to need help from all of you who oftentimes are more credible than politicians in delivering that message. Because we want to leverage whatever public dollars are spent, and we are under no illusion that somehow the federal government can spend its way out of this recession.”

These obviously self-contradictory remarks should really come as no surprise. Self-contradiction is a near universal side effect of any attempt to twist reality into a more serviceable selfish falsehood. Self-contradiction is one of the most telling symptoms of a liar. Consistency, sweet consistency, can only reliably come from a solid foundation based on truth and logic, a foundation which is all too often missing in politicians, which is why the progress of human social evolution and the advancement of liberty and equality has always been to further protect the individual from the fickle selfish throes of government. One of the greatest, if not the greatest, leaps in this aspect of human development was the framing of the American Constitution. The founders believed in the natural inalienable rights of the individual and rooted this country in a firm foundation of individual liberty and limited government. Our Constitution plainly states this philosophy to be constant and unchanging. James Madison explained the eternal need for this philosophy in the 51st Federalist Paper:

“If men were angels, no government would be necessary. If angels were to govern men, neither external nor internal controls on government would be necessary. In framing a government which is to be administered by men over men, the great difficulty lies in this: you must first enable the government to control the governed; and in the next place oblige it to control itself.”

Barack Obama does not believe in this philosophy. From his book, The Audacity of Hope:

“Implicit in [the Constitution’s] structure, in the very idea of ordered liberty, was a rejection of absolute truth, the infallibility of any idea or ideology or theology or “ism,” any tyrannical consistency that might lock future generations into a single, unalterable course . . .”

This convenient disregard for absolute, universal truths is what allows him to plunge ahead, foundationless, without respect for our fundamental principles of limited government, guided only by his own selfish and relative morality. This is why he contradicts himself.

More to the topic, however, the president is wrong to attempt economic stimulus through government expenditure. The trouble with this process is that in order to obtain its money, the government must first either take it directly from the citizenry in the form of taxes, or issue bonds to investors in order to borrow the amount it intends to spend. The first option has the effect of reducing the amount of liquid capitol within the economy, which depresses the GDP and leads to increased unemployment. The second option increases the national debt, which can only be paid off through increased tax receipts, spending cuts, or the arbitrary printing of “fiat” money. Increased tax receipts stem from either economic growth or an increase in tax rates. Unfortunately for us, a historical analysis of 20th century American economics reveals that increased government spending usually results in a net loss to the GDP. History does not bode well for this approach, yet it is one of the shoestrings to which the current administration is asking us to cling. So, since we are considering massive increases in government spending, increased taxation and fiat money are the most likely outcomes. Fiat money is the money arbitrarily printed and issued by the federal treasury which increases the quantity of money units within an economy without increasing the intrinsic worth of that economy. The net result is a decrease in the actual value of an individual unit of money, in this case the dollar, and a resultant increase in the cost of consumer goods, a market quality tracked by the Consumer Price Index, or CPI. An increase in the CPI is also referred to as inflation, a process which decreases the productivity of a market by effectively shifting economic wealth from the owners of the money (private business and individuals) to the borrower of the money (Federal Reserve, during deficit spending).

This is not to say that absolutely no one benefits from government spending. The entire economy of Washington, D.C. is made up of its beneficiaries - politicians, lobbyists, pollsters, and anyone else who cheered for the winning team last election and now awaits their tax-funded reward. They suckle, like pigs, at the tired teats of the taxpayers. I know. I’ve seen it. It’s gross.

So what does all of this mean for you and me, average U.S. citizens? Basically, any increase in government spending contributes to a decrease in the overall economic aspect of our quality of life. Federal stimulus spending is a total crock of shit. It’s that freaking simple.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Understanding Diversity Training

A friend of mine works for the City of Portland Housing Authority, which has the slogan "many cultures, one roof" - almost as if this were abnormal in the modern American melting pot. Hell, I should have the slogan "many cultures, one pasty white ass". Because of the uber-leftist and showy multi-culture-chic nature of Portland, Oregon, the city housing authority scores brownie points and tax dollars by collecting more needy immigrants than Angelina Jolie. As a part of this charade, employees of HAP are required to attend regular diversity training, courses designed to reduce every member of mankind into a tidy package of ethnic stereotypes. Most recently, he was subjected to a course titled "Understanding Asians". No, it was not a Mandarin Language course, nor did it instruct it's participants on the more practical aspects of understanding Asians, such as the fact that some Asian languages do not have a hard "R" sound, thus causing understandable difficulty when pronouncing certain English words. The premise of this course is basically to homogenize all Asian races into one mystical Buddhist-Taoist-Confucian Gordian Knot which, once conveniently unraveled by a highly educated “minority studies” master, provides the HAP employee with all the knowledge necessary to form an eternal bond with the soul of any one he encounters from that particular continent.

The very idea that you can familiarize yourself with a complete stranger just by attending a class about their nationality is completely disgusting and disrespectful. The fundamental thinking behind Diversity Training is basically that humans are not individuals, each worthy of equal respect and regard, but simply faceless members of one race or another, to be treated differently and with pre-judgment. The joy of diversity training is that it trains you to think of your coworker Achmed, not as "that great guy I work with who cracks the funny jokes and prays a lot", but rather as "one of those people, you know, different from you and me".

The one good thing in all of this is that there is no class titled "Understanding Portuguese-Welsh-Dutch-Danish-Irish-Scottish-Polish Americans". This means that I, at least, will never be confronted by a HAP city employee who condescendingly treats me like an old pal, just because they were taught the secret handshake of “my people” by some minority studies hack.

Racism sucks, but diversity training is not the answer. Diversity training actually makes our society worse by emphasizing the differences between us. True racism is always obvious, and a mature society deals with it in the same way as any other inequity - it is pointed out and ridiculed and shunned into non-existence. A good example of racism, by the way, can be found in HAPs hiring policy, as stated on their very own website:

"Our goal is to employ minorities in our work force to a degree that is at least comparable to the representation of minorities in the available qualified work force for a particular job within the Portland metropolitan area . . . HAP will attempt to recruit needed personnel from minority groups and low-income program participants."

Thursday, August 13, 2009

What Did The 5 Fingers Say To The Red Leftist Bastard?

The Russian Soviet Revolution has failed miserably. The Chinese Great Leap Backward has brought total socio-political oppression to its people. North Korea and Cuba are now impoverished nations under the thumbs of tiny totalitarian tyrants, with Venezuela nipping along closely behind. Karl Marx was an incompetent half-wit unable to hold a job or find his pants.

The delusional red revolutionaries of the past brought violent, bloody disaster to their nations, and from the wreckage of those nations reared the true hellish face of communism, the face of socialist fascism. The Dictatorship of the Proletariat has always resulted in both the oppression of the actual proletariat and the creation of a new, more powerful class of bourgeois oppressors. Reality and human nature are incontrovertible forces that have always dealt a lethal bitchslap to the delusions of revolutionary communism.

With full knowledge of this immutable law, modern day commies have given up notions of glorious, violent revolution, and are resorting instead to a more gradual and less obvious method of parliamentary driven change. Modern day Reds often avoid the traditional labels of "communist" and "socialist" altogether, preferring the more nebulous and less insidious "leftist". No longer do their banners carry slogans of struggle and sacrifice for the good of the state. They have been replaced with the empty rhetoric of "basic human rights", "equality", and "social justice", held forth as totems against the stark reality that in all nations wherein the communist struggle has succeeded, these words are all now meaningless. The goals, however, are the same: The crushing of the Individual beneath the boot of the State.

Now is the time for well-aimed bitchslaps to the face of creeping socialist fascism. When the hags of network news depict the opponents of increased government control as conservative nutjobs, give 'em a bitchslap. When immature hopey-changey hipsters raise the red flag and spout off about "the haves and the have-not's", give 'em a bitchslap. When the greasy smiling politicians reach their grasping hands towards our hard-earned wages and our hard-earned liberties, give 'em a bitchslap. And when any man tells you that you cannot succeed on your own, because life is unfair, and that all of your problems are someone else's fault, give 'em an atomic flying bitchslap, because you don't need that shit. You are an awesome and powerful individual, capable of joy, innovation, and greatness.

My fellow strong and sovereign individuals, it's bitchslappin' time!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Jokers and Thieves

Thomas Jefferson owned slaves. John Adams repressed free speech and the criticism of government. Dirty Bill Clinton cheated on his filthy hag wife. Politicians are dirty, and we all know it. Despite this, every day we see people casting aside reason and responsibility, ready to throw away truth and liberty for the sake of following the latest enigmatic demagogue. While they may eloquently seem to offer us solutions to all of our problems, our elected leaders will always fall sway to the same human weaknesses shared by us all. Our government can never be better than we the people, and just as no man ought to have dominion over another, we should never swallow the poison pill of blind fanatic loyalty to our elected leadership. A government of the people, by the people, and for the people, necessarily possesses every weakness that lies in the people. This was the very reason that compelled the founders to create a nation defined by liberty and limited government. They saw very clearly the susceptibility of power to corruption.

"Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil; in its worst state, an intolerable one."
-Thomas Paine

We are, however, quickly forgetting their humble wisdom. The American government has grown in size and scope and, like a metastasized cancer, is steadily infecting every aspect of our lives. While we are still, politically speaking, one of the greatest societies in history, we should always remember that the frailties of mankind are as immutable as death, and never submit our individual sovereignty to the corruptible will of another.

It is said by some that the founding fathers would cry out in horror at the leviathan that is the American government of the 21st century (well, maybe not Alexander Hamilton, that bastard!). We've been fooled by our leaders into handing ever more power and authority over to them, and in return we have received only taxes, wars, excessive laws, and a political circus worthy of Barnum and Bailey. It was never supposed to be this way. It's time for us to stop trusting these thieving jokers with the control of our lives, and start trusting in ourselves. We don’t need their bailouts. We don’t need their medicine. We don’t need their wars. We need to be strong, confident, and responsible. We need to grow up.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

It's this simple.

It’s 8:03 pm and 83 degrees outside on this beautiful summer evening. You’re just finishing supper, a simple meal of steak and a potato, cooked on the BBQ. The steak is perfect, medium rare, with pepper, salt, mustard, and cayenne, a recipe given to you by your best friend. You relax in the cool night breeze, reading about one of your favorite hobbies, while on the radio Lynyrd Skynyrd sings about everything that is right with the world. This is one those moments when God hands you an olive branch and shows you what life is all about.
This is freedom. This is America. This is why we fight to keep her sane.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Happy Independence Day!

The Unanimous Declaration of the Thirteen United States of America
When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. That whenever any form of government becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such government, and to provide new guards for their future security. -- Such has been the patient sufferance of these colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former systems of government.

Read the rest:

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

The Roots of Gun Control

Public debate over an issue is always good, but sometimes ignorance steers the conversation off course into the realm of the absurd. This is nowhere more evident than in current discussions about the necessity of gun control. This argument has descended to the idiotic level of whether or not a person has the right to self-defense. The answer to that question is a resounding yes, but the greater question of gun control has much more far-reaching historical and philosophic importance than the petty bickering of our feeble-minded politicians who pander desperately for our votes, and speaks directly to the relationship between the individual and the state. Gun control has never served its proponents who seek to create a risk-free utopian society, as evidenced by every nation that has ever attempted it, including Britain, Australia, and Brazil. To blunt all of life’s edges is simply impossible. People have been victimizing each other since Cain slew Abel, long before the first gun was invented. The true purpose of gun control is, and always has been, the control of a population by a tyrannical authority.

Gun control efforts have been made in America since colonial times, but the original stated intent was not some vague notion of crime control. Gun control was originally enacted against all members of the black races, by white landowners, in order to more easily subject them to servitude. In 1680, a law was passed with the title “for preventing Negroes Insurrections”. This law was an outright ban on the ownership by blacks of personal weapons, including guns, swords, clubs, staffs, etc. The elitist class of the south understood full well the truth of Aristotle’s words:

Only an armed people can truly be free. Only an unarmed people can ever be enslaved.”

In addition to being one of the first tools of black suppression and enslavement in America, gun control was also one of the last. The 14th Amendment was adopted in 1868 to stop efforts by southern whites to deny constitutional rights, especially those of the 2nd Amendment, to former slaves and their descendants, efforts which had culminated in the terrible ruling of the United States Supreme Court in the now famous case of Dred Scott v. Sandford. The events which necessitated the passage of the 14th Amendment stand as a testimony that no individual, or group of individuals, including the United States Supreme Court, can be trusted with the power to abridge the rights and liberties of a free, inherently equal, and law abiding people. Ultimate authority must always rest with the people in order that its governance never descends into tyranny.

Thankfully, the march of human history has witnessed a steady shrugging away of tyranny, whether inflicted by chiefs, priests, monarchs, or now our own elected officials who fall sway to the same lust for power as did all previous incarnations of authority. It is the constant burden of the citizen to hold its government in check, and when necessary, “dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them”. Part of the purpose of the 2nd Amendment is to ensure that Americans will always have the tools necessary to prevent their government from becoming like the one their founders recently fought so hard to be free from. The Chinese government, for example, is well aware of this, and prohibits Chinese citizens from owning any firearms. As Chairman Mao wisely observed,
"All political power comes from the barrel of a gun. The communist party must command all the guns, that way, no guns can ever be used to command the party."

Can those of you who, like me, have never trusted Bush and his Homeland Security honestly tell me that we need never "keep and bear arms" to keep the government in check?

In the end, there is no gun control issue. A gun is simply a tool which can either be used positively or negatively. Examples of the former use include blacks who protected themselves from Klansmen, women who now protect themselves from rapists, and a people who would shrug off a tyrannical authority. Examples of the latter use may involve the commission of a crime. Any attempt to limit the tools of crime, however, will only result in the criminal taking up some other device, be it a knife, car, airliner, rock, piano wire, blackjack, illegally obtained gun, or the most common and versatile tool ever devised, the human hand. Ultimately, only our own submission to shackles can deprive us of our hands*, and only our own submission to tyranny can deprive us of our guns.

*Obviously I’m being metaphorical here. An accident involving a wood chipper could literally take our hands, but let’s not be puerile.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Rage Against The Demagogues: Take The Power Back!

Demagogue: A leader who makes use of popular prejudices and false claims and promises in order to gain power.

Today we witness the rise to power people of common intelligence possessed of uncommon means. There is nothing noble, exceptional, singular, or benevolent in the persons we have elected to public office. Indeed, if any difference exists at all between the politician and the average citizen, it is the uncommon and all-consuming lust for power and self-gratification on the part of the former. Thus, the only protection the average citizen can rely upon is the limitation of the power and the containment of the influence of the politician to affect the lives of a free and inherently equal citizenship.

Case in point:
Recently, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was shamed and put on the defensive, and rightfully so, amidst her venomous and single-minded pursuit of the creation of an “Independent Truth Commission”. This sham commission would prosecute members of the former presidential administration, as well as some current Republican members of congress, for supposed acts of torture utilized in CIA interrogations of terrorist leaders. These prosecutions, and the media diversion they would surely create, would likely secure an overwhelming Democrat majority in D.C., effectively bestowing upon Obama, Pelosi, and the other temporary tyrants of America, the power to rule by fiat, dispensing with even the illusion of bipartisanship. It came out, however, that back in 2002 good ol’ Nancy herself sat in on the very CIA briefings about, and gave her own tacit assent to, the very interrogation methods that drive her current insane quest for more power.
All pretense of ethical leadership was shed, when, amidst questions at a recent press council on this very subject, a stumbling and backpedalling Pelosi admitted her true motivations for her elected position:
” My job was to change the majority in Congress and to change -- to fight to have a new president, because what was happening was not consistent with our values, certainly not true, and -- and something that had to be changed.”
Excuse me, bitch?
Nancy’s job, for which she was well paid, was to represent California’s 8th district voters in the House, and to serve as House Minority Whip, as well as serve as the top ranking minority leader on the House Intelligence Committee, a position that made her as fully culpable in the doings of our CIA as any other elected representative. She was part of the decision making process. She has always been one of the deciders. And here’s the clincher: She fully admits that, instead of fulfilling her duties and responsibilities to American citizens, she was preoccupied solely with her quest for ever more power to rule over them.
I piss on Nancy Pelosi, and every other goldbricking piece of shit that abuses their ill-gotten position in what should be a hallowed institution, the U.S. Congress. Our elected government has become an out-of-control power hungry monster. It was disgusting under the Republicans, is now equally disgusting under the Democrats, and will continue to be disgusting until such time as American citizens are so pissed off that they finally take back this great and beautiful nation from the grasping clutches of the greedy demagogues that wish only to bilk us for all that we’re worth.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Brazilian Gun Control

It's high time we had a conversation about the farce of gun control, but since I'm feeling especially lazy today I'm just going to throw out a few random facts about Brazil, followed by a link to some other dude's amazing essay on the 2nd Amendment.
Officially, the number of gun related deaths each year in Brazil is anywhere from 25%-400% higher than in the U.S., depending on the source.
And now I'll pause, and let all the advocates of increased gun control work themselves into a hungry gun grabbing frenzy.
Are you finished, children? Okay, now I'll continue.
Unfortunately, for the advocates of gun control, their work in Brazil has already been done. In fact, compared with the U.S., Brazil represents a virtual gun-ban utopia. Brazilian gun purchases are so restricted that nearly all guns within Brazil are illegally smuggled across the border. Those able to purchase a gun within Brazil must be at least 25 years old and register all firearms with the government, and it is generally illegal to possess these guns outside of the house. Indeed, Brazilian gun control measures have been so effective that there are now estimated to be only 8.8 firearms for every 100 Brazilians, a far cry from the U.S.'s triumphant total of 90 per 100.
God bless America! We're number 1!
So there you have it. The farce of gun control as illuminated by Brazil. And don't even let me hear any of that socio-economic "Brazilian society is more prone to violence" mumbo jumbo. That shit's just fucking racist.
Finally, the real reason for this post, an amazing essay by Jeffrey R. Snyder, titled "A Nation of Cowards". You need to read this, to yourself, your friends, and your kids, and your kid's friends.

See you at the next Appleseed!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Fuck you, Janet, you stinky whore

(An open letter to Department of Homeland Security Chief Janet Napolitano)
Dear Stinky Whore,
I am not a rightwing extremist. I am not, have never been, and will never be, a terrorist.
I am:
- Pro gun and pro militia, under the protection of the 2nd amendment
- Anti tax
- Anti illegal immigration
- Anti welfare
- Anti free trade agreement
- Pro individual and national sovereignty
- Anti communist
- Anti world government
- Anti abortion
- Lastly, but certainly not leastly, I’m a fucking veteran
Janet Napolitano, I am a better American than you. I fucking love this country. You obviously have no idea what it means to be an American. You have abused your position and attacked America and the men and women who make it great. Fuck you, you big dicked baby killing shit eating stinky whore bastard bitch.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Be Careful What You Wish For

As you witness the mad rush to throw away individual liberty and bestow ever more power and money upon our elected officials, under the mistaken belief that these will finally be America’s Greatest Leaders, elected officials who will somehow fix all of our problems for us so that we don’t have to grow up and take responsibility for our own lives, ask yourself what you have done to bring America to this point of extreme metastatic governmental growth. Have you found yourself believing the words of a campaigning politician, biting and clawing its way to the top of the self-serving cesspool of our great nation’s sadly aristocratic capitol? Have you found yourself trusting a President when they promise “temporary” power-grabbing measures? Have you voted to give up even more of your hard-earned money so that these same politicians can use it further their own interests? Do you really believe the government knows what’s best for you? And my final question: Have you not noticed that power in Washington never stays put, always swinging from libertarian to socialist, and from socialist back to libertarian, decade after decade? With that little historical truth in mind, how much power, how much money, and how much trust to you want to place in a government which today may pleasure your personal political slant, but tomorrow will most certainly swing back around to the dreaded “other side”?

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Hail Obama, ruler of wage-slaves!

In a recent conversation with a rather well-read friend of mine, I heard him use a term which completely baffled my senses of logic and reason. Apparently a number of progressive thinkers have invented a term for an imagined evil supposedly inherent in our free-market society, and that term is “wage-slavery.” Supposedly, in a system such as we have in the U.S., greedy and all-powerful “wage-slavers” keep the working class down by forcing them to do menial work such as making shitty overpriced coffee, selling crappy overpriced clothes in the God-forsaken malls, and any of a number of the other jobs we all did before we grew up and realized that we needed to do something useful with ourselves. And supposedly these evil overlords are able to keep the peasants in their place by only paying them just enough to scrape by, but not enough to overcome their situation.
At this point I laughed so hard I almost shit myself. America today is not the America of the 19th century, so why are some people still spouting the same old rhetoric? The anarchists and pinkos of the era of unionization were fighting for humane working conditions and a fair day’s wages. The progressive liberals of today are fighting for other people’s money, despite having the benefit of history’s hindsight to look back to all of the times when socialist-communist experiments around the world plunged entire nations into black holes of ruin and starvation. History and current events show us quite clearly what happens to a people forced to redistribute assets and wealth in order to eliminate the lower class. The entire nation becomes the lower class, with the only exception being the ruling class. The society becomes a cruel mockery of itself.
As the saying goes, there’s no such thing as a free lunch. How old does a person have to be to realize that a good life requires a little bit of hard work? How long can these assholes sit around like big helpless babies, shitting their diapers and screaming for someone else to change them and give them a bah-bah?
But I digress. We were talking about the myth of wage-slavery. Let us forgo discussions of the disgusting ignorance this usage of the term “slave” reveals in the progressive thinker. One need only read the autobiography of Frederick Douglass to see the glaring contrast between the lives of the unmotivated bottom-feeders of today and those truly tortured and enslaved men and women of a past that has been thankfully laid to rest. The comparison would be laughable if it weren’t so disgustingly blind. Slavery is dead. It was the death of slavery and the passing of the days of sharecroppers and segregation that matured America into a truly free and equal state. Still, as with any other economic system, there remains greedy individuals hoping to attain wealth through the exploitation of the cheap labor of others. But how is this attained in a nation of truly free and innately equal individuals? In a free nation, the labor can only be cheap if it chooses to be. No slave was ever given that choice.
As the American dream becomes a reality for larger and larger segments of the population, and the natural development of individual liberty and freedom from oppression progresses, we realize the founder’s vision of a nation of free and equal individuals. Certain steps must be taken by the so-called “slave lords” to ensure that the pool of cheap labor never goes dry. Due to the nature of our free nation, any who would proclaim themselves “wage-slaves” have freely chosen to become so. Indeed, this is so well understood by the supposed exploitative ruling class that they have adapted to this new age by introducing enticements specifically designed to weaken the need to work for a better, more rewarding, life. Where once there were whips and chains, now there are financial enticements. Government subsidies are created as incentives for lower class citizens to remain at the bottom, allowing them to tread water for the benefit of the business owner and, in the style of true socialism, at the expense of the rest of the tax-paying citizenship. Earned income tax credits, welfare, kicker checks, and food stamps are all shining examples of this sinister new form of social engineering.
Wealth redistribution plans as put forth by liberal Democrats only serve to increase incentives for individuals at the bottom of the income ladder to remain in place, never bettering themselves or their situation, thus creating a class of easily exploited voluntary "wage-slaves".
This, I suppose, makes President Obama our new slave king.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

These Boots Were Made For Kicking Fascist Ass

One of the only aspects of this ridiculous economic stimulus package that actually makes sense is about to be dropped by President Obama due to pressure from the European Union Trade Commission, a group of morally corrupt fascists who have apparently decided to drag us onto their sinking ship. The excellent "Buy American" clause would dictate that American iron and steel must be used in the construction projects that form part of the recovery plan, in order to further boost job growth and liquid revenue passed amongst the citizenship. The E.U., however, is trying to get it's grubby little hands on some of our taxpayer supplied stimulus money by pressuring the president to nix this clause. I just called Representative David Wu and Senators Ron Wyden and Jeff Merkely to tell them to politely inform the European Union to go fuck itself, and now you can, too! Keep the "Buy American" clause in the stimulus plan!

contact your senator:

contact your state representative:

Help America out. Find out what she makes good, and buy it. I'm wearing Danner Boots, made right here in Portland. These shits have lasted me 6 years, two of those in a Navy industrial shipyard, and I can still stand in a puddle of water up to my shins without getting wet, hell fucking yeah! Bring it on, Fascism!
Editor's Note: In retrospect, it would appear that this particular rant was advocating protectionist trade policies, but this was not my intention. Protectionism decreases overall output, efficiancy, and ultimately leads to a decline in quality of life. This process was beautifully explained by the English economist David Ricardo with his Theory of Comparative Advantage. My goal was merely to point out that if the government is going to steal our money and blow it on stupid crap, it could at least have the decency to spend our money within our own economy, thus mitigating our losses on this crummy deal.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Why Is It Hip To Hate Israel?

Walk into one of the largest mosques in Iran and you will see ten foot tall banners proclaiming "Death To Israel". The Iranian leader vows the destruction of Israel, having said that he would gladly suffer half his own people to die if it meant the death of every Jew in Israel. Iran has now been arming and funding Hamas for years, smuggling Iranian made missiles into Gaza through the border crossing with Egypt. Hamas, not Israel, broke the ceasefire in December, by unleashing hundreds of these Katyusha and Qassam rockets into Israeli towns and cities on the border. Since 2001, more than 10,000 rockets and mortars have been fired at Israeli civilians from Gaza. The firing of unguided missiles into civilian populations, by the way, is a massive human rights violation, but don't tell the UN or the major news agencies. It might spoil the game they make out of the slandering of Israel.
Most news agencies won’t show the Israeli troop transports, loaded with medicine and food, being driven through the checkpoints into Gaza to alleviate the suffering of the Palestinian civilians. They won’t show the Palestinians from Gaza being treated in Israeli hospitals during the battles. They won’t report on the Israeli policy of using text messages and leaflets to warn Gaza citizens of impending Israeli retaliations, thus helping Palestinian civilians while endangering Israel's own soldiers. They won’t highlight the highly targeted and surgical nature of Israeli strikes on Hamas strongholds, in contrast with the inhumanly blind rocket attacks on Israeli civilians.
Watching this all occur, and seeing the slanted news reports, and listening to that piece of shit “United Nations Observer to Palestine” Riyad Mansour, who is in fact nothing more than a spokesmouth for Hamas and should not be on the U.N. payroll, and now seeing all the protests around the world from bored, useless, ineffectual teenagers and their petty, ignorant, and hateful parents who have nothing better to protest now that their messiah has replaced Bush as president, who can help but wonder where all this blatant propaganda comes from? While you ponder that question, let me ask you this: Why does Michelangelo’s awe-inspiring statue of Moses have evil jew horns?
A klog is meer! When will these beautiful balebetishen yidden ever receive a fair break? When will the Schlemiels and Schmendriks of the media learn? Oy gevalt, I think I’ll stop this useless rant, crack open a bottle of Maneschewitz, and cry my eyes out watching “Fiddler On The Roof” (again).

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Dirty Politician Derby 2008!

Before we forget the perils and pitfalls of trusting our sworn representatives and giving them ever more and more control over our lives, let's take a few moments to remember some of the news stories that served, in 2008, to remind us why we shouldn't trust these bastards with anything. Keep in mind that this is only a list of legally criminal behavior. My computer doesn't store enough data for me to write about all of the instances of less-than-honorable leadership, such as party-line bickering, pork barrel spending, and all of what Thomas Jefferson called "the endless quibbles, chicaneries, perversions, vexations, and delays of lawyers and demi-lawyers".
Gov. Rod Blagojevich (D-IL) - Selling a Senate seat recently vacated by fellow politician Barack Obama is all over the news, but this piece of trash has also been the subject of at least a dozen separate federal investigations, not including allegedly threatening to withhold $8 million of state funds from the Children's Memorial Hospital unless they coughed up $50,000 for his re-election campaign. This guy is as filthy as they come. On a side note, did you see the gall that his eventual gubernatorial appointee, Roland Burris, displayed upon the suggestion that his appointment may not have been completely wholesome and valid? The dude (Burris) practically spit in the faces of reporters, angrily asserting "his right" to be a senator. This is exactly the self-righteous attitude of entitlement and the disdain for common decency that we see infecting so many of our elected officials.
Sen. Ted Stevens (R-AK) - Guilty of 7 felony charges related to accepting $250,000 in gifts from Veco, an Alaska oil services and construction company at the center of the now multi-year corruption probe. As a part of this big bribe Veco doubled the size of his house, so at least his ashamed family will have plenty of room to hide their faces from the world.
State Representative Vic Kohring (R-AK) - Another Alaskan representative now in prison over the Veco affair. There were several others, but I'm sticking to 2008 convictions here. Most of these pigs were rounded up in 2007.
Gov. Eliot Spitzer (D-NY) - Admitted that he was a customer of a prostitution ring and resigned. I had hesitations adding him to the list, due to his excellent record of prosecuting government corruption cases while attorney general. Oh well. At least she was hot.
Congressman Rick Renzi (R-AZ) - Indicted on multiple federal charges including conspiracy, wire fraud, money laundering, extortion, and insurance fraud.
Mayor Larry Langford (D-AL) - Arrested on December 1, 2008 by the FBI on a 101 count indictment alleging conspiracy, bribery, fraud, money laundering, and filing false tax returns in connection with a long-running bribery scheme.
State Senator Carole Midgen (D-CA) - Caught in 89 counts of campaign finance reporting, involving over half a million dollars. This one doesn't seem so bad, but it was enough to land her a $350,000 fine. It's funny which ethical violations will get you in trouble, and which ones won't.
State Senator Diane Wilkerson (D-MA) - Finally resigned in the face of tax evasion, ethics violations, and perjury charges. The icing on the cake is the FBI videotape of this classy lady stuffing bribe money into her bra. The DVD will hit porn-shop shelves just in time for the Oscars.
Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick (D-MI) - This pimp-ass muthafucka is one of my favorites. Talk about living the life of royalty. Where do we begin? He got caught using taxdollars to pay for his spa massages, extravagant meals, expensive wines, and a freakin' car lease, running up a bill of $210,000! He also got caught giving his buddies the homey-hookup on lucrative public works contracts involving hundreds of millions of tax dollars. Remember, folks, tax dollars come straight from all of our hard earned paychecks! After using his taxpayer provided security unit to cover up an extramarital affair with his sexy Chief of Staff, he fired both of the police officers assigned to investigate this misuse of public resources. Then, he lied about it under oath, knowing that Bill Clinton gave us all a nice precedent. Ooh, let's not forget that big party he threw at the mayoral mansion with all the strippers. When his wife unexpectedly came home and found him in a compromising position, a scene right out of "COPS" ensued. Tragically, the stripper involved, a Miss Tamara Greene, could not be a part of the follow-up investigation, as she was later shot 18 times with a Glock .40 cal (A fine gun commonly used by the police, which I only mention because there is a continuing cover-up scandal involving, well, the police). The entire investigation into what exactly happened at the governor's mansion that night is ongoing, and is starting to read like the investigations of the Kennedy assassinations. Oh, by the way, this son of a bitch also funneled $175,000 of state grant money into a bogus organization with only one employee: His wife. Those aren't all of this pimp's scandals, but you get the point.
State Senator Joseph Coniglio (D-NJ) - Indicted for abusing state grants, mail fraud and extortion. Bo-ring!
Governor Bill Richardson (D-NM) - Had to withdraw his bid to be Obama's Commerce Secretary due to investigations into trading campaign money for lucrative government transportation contracts.
Councilman Hiram Monserrate (D-NY) - Charged for assaulting his girlfriend, resulting in an injury to her left eye. I only mention him to remind us all that even the small fries can't be trusted.
Attorney General Marc Dann (D-OH) - Resigned because of a sex scandal and harassment of his aides.
Senate Pro Tempore (?) John Burton (D-CA) - Alleged sexual harassment.
Attorney General Paul J. Morrison (D-KS) - After an extramarital affair with an office administrator, he was charged with sexual harassment and claims that he pressured her to obtain sensitive information about the district attorney. Talk about rude. I would've sent her flowers, instead.
Tim Mahoney (D-FL) - Currently under FBI investigation for preferential treatment involving $3.4 million in hurricane relief funds, and also (wait for it) . . . extramarital affair!
Attorney General Marc Dann (D-OH) - Resigned after an . . . anyone? . . . you guessed it, an extramarital affair!
Representative Vito Fossella (R-NY) - Drunk driving and . . . extramarital affair!
Senator John Edwards (D-NC) - Extramarital affair! And, as if that wasn't disgusting enough, he did it while his wife was battling cancer. My feelings on this fella are akin to my feeling on dog shit in a warm glass of milk, aged three weeks.
And let's not forget our friends down in the fake state of Puerto Rico. Governor Anibal Acevedo Vila (D-Puerto Rico) - Indicted by the United States on 19 counts of campaign finance corruption and conspiracy to violate federal election laws. On August 19, 2008 he was indicted a second time with 5 additional counts, including four counts of Honest Services Wire Fraud, and a fifth count of Conspiracy to Commit Money Laundering. Puerto Rico also makes decent rum.
Holy smokes, are you still reading? Good for you, and thanks. I've written this purely out of a passionate love for my country and all that it stands for. Our founding fathers gave us an amazing and precious nation, and it is up to us to defend it from all enemies, foreign and domestic. I treasure our liberty, equality, and opportunity. One of the biggest threats to these are our politicians, from the President on down. Let's resolve to hold them to a higher standard. If we diminish their power, we will strengthen our own.
This concludes Dirty Politician Derby 2008!

Socialism Versus My Hulking Biceps (originally posted Thursday, December 11, 2008)

The illogic of American liberals can be traced to the desire to distribute power as widely as possible and keep all power within a system of checks and balances. That is all well and good, but then the crazies step in and take it too far. Modern American liberals seek to prevent the accumulation of power and wealth in the hands of an economic or private "elite" and balance the power of market forces and businesses against that of government, so that no source of power may go unchecked. Then, they go even further, suggesting that the fruits of every individual's labor should be stolen and redistributed as they see fit. And they have the gall to call this "equality".
If the modern American liberal is so afraid of any accumulation of power by a single entity, I wonder how long I will be able to hide the awesome power of my hulking biceps. I am not joking. I promise you that I and Americans like me will stop producing if you take away the fruits of our labor. This is the classic fatal flaw of socialism, the true name for modern American liberalism. The trouble is, once the wealth dries up, these crazy bastards just might come for our individual abilities.
Which brings me back to my hulking biceps. I realize that, to some, my massive fist cannons are intimidating, and that these same peoples fear and jealousy may drive them to attempt a redistribution of my awesome power. So I want to send out this warning right now to all the would-be socialists lurking amongst our ranks: If you come for my hulking biceps, I will destroy you. I will rip the meat from your bones and feast upon your godless souls.
So just try it. Try taking these guns away.

You pay them to do this (Originally posted Tuesday, September 09, 2008)

Last week H.CON.RES.402 was introduced to the House of Crapresentatives and referred to the House Committee on Natural Resources. This is a do-nothing resolution to recognize 2009 as the "Sesquicentennial of Oil", and to honor some stupid county in Crapsville, Pennsylvania for having been the founding site of the much loved american oil industry.
Now, ask yourself: If you hired some shmuck to fix your leaky roof, and instead he writes you an essay about the last Dean Koonz novel he read while waiting for his unemployment check to arrive, would you still pay him? So why do we still pay our government representatives when they continue to shovel this kind of garbage?

NBC says "screw you, sports fans!" (Originally posted Saturday, August 09, 2008)

In rabid anticipation of tonights festival of communism, my special lady friend and I anxiously awaited the opening ceremonies of the olympics. Beers in hand, we tuned in the NBC online Olympics website, only to find a pathetic two minute recap of the wonders we missed, wonders that included 2,008 synchronised chinese slaves drumming while flaming, smoking, pollution spewing fireworks attempted to bring fruition to Al Gore's inconveniant pack of self-aggrandising fear-mongering Godless horse crap.
NBC is a piece of garbage. The website doesn't work. Our tv only gets OPB, which means that tonight there are two sad little sports fans drinking away their sorrows in front of a patriotic miniseries produced by HBO and released on DVD. Honestly, though, "John Adams" is pretty fucking good.
Don't tread on us, England!

It Hurts (Originally posted Thursday, November 16, 2006)

So, like, on Monday, the House of Reps sent this bill up for approval that was designed to prosecute violent animal rights activists. It's called the "Animal Enterprise Terrorism Act". Except what it really can do is allow the arrest, and trial as a Terrorist, anyone caught at a peaceful protest, if they could be shown to have decreased any profits of the organization under protest.
Somebody remind me again, what is so terrifying about hippies at a sit-in?
To prove the irony of it's own existence, this week also happened to be the week the government chose reveal the newest plans for the next D.C. monument: a statue of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
It hurts, being treated this way.
Seriously, call your State Representative