Tuesday, April 5, 2011


In the face of psychotically skyrocketing federal deficits and a Fed induced collapse of the dollar, Obama-rama-ding-dong has unveiled his latest scheme to squeeze yet more wealth from the economy: retroactive taxation of gratuities received by minimum wage food service employees for the last five years. Yep, you heard me right. The big O wants wants our change back.

What this means for an unlucky collection of cooks and waitresses is a last minute "corrected" W-2 with a roughly 30% larger taxable income than previously reported. Restaurant owners will be given the choice by IRS henchmen either to pay back taxes on estimated tips for up to five years previous, or to negotiate down the number of years of back taxes owed in return for "voluntarily" enrolling in the relatively new ATIP (Attributed Tip Income Program), which allows the IRS to estimate and automatically tax gratuities received by service employees. For most restaurant owners, this is an offer they can’t afford to refuse.

I imagine a scenario wherein a nefarious Obama, lit by a noxious green smoke, lurks in a darkened oval office and consults with a magic mirror about what to tax next.

"There seems to be a plethora of confusion surrounding the corporate income taxes of companies such as General Electric. Perhaps you take advantage of this by adding yet another tax to the burden of the public shareholders?" suggests the mirror.

"No, I need them to keep funding my elections," replies evil Obama, whilst stroking his goatee. "Besides, I play golf with the CEO."

After a thoughtful pause, the mirror offers another suggestion: "Well, then, how about the gratuities of all the poor sobs who voted for you? I’ve heard it’s common practice to not report waitressing tips to the IRS."

The green glow lights the growing grin of the evil one.